Carlee Barnes

i still miss my friend...like a lot. today marks 3 years since she passed and the pain i feel is still raw. as raw as it was then. i remember at her funeral the priest likened grieving to carrying around a treasure box full of their presence and memories and right now the treasure box is very cumbersome and hard to carry around, but over time it will become a little easier and then easier - but you will always carry their treasure box with you. i relate to that. my treasure box filled with devon has become a lot more portable, but no less present.

i think of her still EVERY time i see Big Lots (and thats a lot where i live) and every time i go to Trader Joe's - Devon was not so very gifted in the kitchen and everything she cooked was from Trader Joe's - like their pizza bread was her fave and she always heated up some frozen appetizer like every time you came over. she knew like a hundred recipes you could do with only 4 T.J. ingredients...it was amazing.

i also think of her whenever i go to a girls night and just think of how she would not miss this! she lived for parties...especially ones with a theme. she liked themes. i think of her when i see my keys and that keychain she made me of bryson when he was 3 months old is still on there...5 1/2 years later! little thoughts from that treasure box float around my brain and as much as they make me sad and realize the little hole she left in my heart, they also comfort me because if i can't have her around, then i must have her memories with me always.

i miss you friend. you left us all way too soon, but hope you are having a big ole themed party up there in heaven right now - i am giggling now because i am picturing you boss all the angels around and tell them where to put the chairs...hahaha...you tell em girl!

Karla Frizler

Devon, I know Thursday, January 28th would've been your 30th birthday. It breaks my heart to think that you left this world at such a young age. But I want to thank you for being such an important part of my life. I am a better person for having known you. Sending much love and aloha out to the cosmos ... and hoping you are at peace.

Diana

Thank you all very much for remembering my daughter. I miss her every single day. I tell my little students lots of stories about her and that helps me keep her ever so much with me. We have very different traditions now for the holidays. Thanksgiving we ate at a restaurant. My wonderful husband, Alan, and I are going away again this year for the Dec. holidays-this time to Cancun and Belize. Poppy is going to be with my brothers, Rick and Dave, in Denver. Missing my mom and Devon is a part of the "new normal" I guess. Sometimes I feel them both with me, encouraging me to be strong and get on with my life. Devon would want all of us to enjoy life to the fullest and treat each other as we would want to be treated. That was her philosophy of life. She expected people to be good to her and they usually were. She loved her friends. I thank you all for being there for her through the good times and the difficult ones. You were all so wonderful when the times got rough. She was so lucky to have such devoted friends.

Hope the holidays are great and you find peace, hope and love.

Carlee Barnes

today a marks a year since she passed. she is still in my thoughts and i still have a good cry at least once a month thinking of her. whenever i see a good sale i flinch to call her...whenever i miss her i go to her blog and read some of her first posts and crack up.

when i think over this year and think about how her life and death have influenced me i realize that it is immeasurable. i feel like i have learned a lot about friendship and the value in it and the value in the celebration of friends, like Devon liked to celebrate - any time she could - any reason she could - it was all a party...one that she couldn't wait to plan! when bryson was first born she was so supportive - she organized all our friends to get gift certificates to restaurants and take-out places and included menus and everything! it was such a help during those first months...she also babysat and helped out any way she could... i missed that with Bodie being born. i also felt a little guilty that here i was with 2 little ones experiencing something she was robbed of.

i have many funny memories of Devon and they pop up in my mind here and there and cause simultaneous waves of joy and sorrow. i miss her because she is no longer here, but without sounding too cheese...she helped change a part of me that needed changing. she helped spawn a lot of change in my life - she influenced me a lot more than she will ever know and i will always remember her for that and always thank her and always remember this day.

i included this last pic because it was such a funny night out - everyone was complaining because we couldn't get into the Sky Room - i just tried to get everyone a drink so they would stop complaining...that night my old band director from high school was playing at this place...anyway - sounds silly but ruthie and devon and i would crack up for many days to come about this night....look at my purse on the table...i still use that purse - and this is from 2006...oh dear...Devon was always trying to get the girls together for a girls night - again any reason to celebrate and any reason to plan something!

i miss my friend. i miss her laugh and her friendship and her planning and her knack for sales and menus and knowing where to go in long beach for anything! i miss her humor and her love for people and her generosity - of herself - her time, her anything you might need without ever asking anything in return. i will continue to honor her and remember her and cry for her and hope that we do meet again someday for a big girls night out!

One Year

Today mark's a year. Every day the treasure box of love and memories gets smaller and easier to carry. But I will carry it for the rest of my life with pride. Today I also think of all of you who love Devon as I do and hope you are surviving the journey. I am with all of you in this day of remembering and honoring Devon.

Sarah Carrade

My fellow wanderlust, Devon.

In the past few months, I have often turned to Devon's blog to remember my dear friend and it has brought me great comfort to see how she touched our lives. In each of the entries, my friendship with Devon was reflected in others' stories. She touched my life in many of the same ways that she touched others.

In Devon, I had friend who shared the same passion for travel and interest in the world. When I first met Devon in Santa Barbara, we were immediately connected by our attempt to learn Spanish (she succeeded!) and our desire to travel. Two girls from the Central Valley, ready to conquer the world! We joked that we were both racing to get European Union passports so we could "live the European life". When she told me she was engaged to Noureddin, I joked with her that she must have been sleeping in our Global Studies classes at UCSB because Morocco wasn't in the European Union! And later, when I emailed her to say I was marrying a Scotsman, her reply was "You won!!".

Over the years and despite thousands of miles in between us, we remained good friends, sharing stories or silly pieces of information. Countless times over the past few months, while adjusting to my new life in Russia, I've stopped to think "Devon would find this hilarious!"

As we begin a new year and Devon's birthday approaches, we can all remember the passion and light Devon brought to our lives. What she taught us about true friendship and living life to the fullest, is something I will never forget about my fellow wanderlust.

The Last Ride

It has been three months now since we lost Devon. I have been unable to put into words anything remotely close to how I've been feeling. This weekend, however, inspired by the Red Devon Daffodils that Julie planted in her honor and are now sprouting up on my balcony, I was inspired to try to describe (with some poetic license and a few miss-sequencing of events!) my experience during Devon's last days. I've posted this on my blog and hope it speaks somewhat for you, too. Ironically, since Devon set this blog up for me and showed me how to use it, I feel guilty for not using it lately. The muse just hasn't been speaking to me. At least I've found the words to give her a little to smile about here at the end of this most horrible of years.

http://tambourineman7.blogspot.com/

We all are seeking our own way to get our arms around the meaning of Devon's loss and move on with it, ever so slowly and carefully. one of my ways is to write about it. My next effort will be to move into a "garden," again an inspiration given to me by Julie. Two days after Devon died, Julie, Jen, Cory, Asako and I went to Descanso Gardens in Pasadena. We found freh air, sunlight, ponds, fish, many beautiful flowers and plants. Jen took a picture of a poem engraved on a bronze plaque. It has been lingering in my mind ever since Julie emailed it to me. I think I can form some feelings around this.

Meanwhile, Asako and I wish you all a Good New Year. We keep talking of all the love and support you've shown for Devon this past year and a half and are permanently grateful. Can't say it enough! Asako will be working in Tokyo January 13 through the 27th. I'll be busy with classes, keeping the house dusted, playing at golf, and growing stronger in mind, body and spirit...I hope!

Love to All,

Lou