Marla Pendley

In so many ways, I am the luckiest person I know. She was a friend, a sister, a confidant and a teacher; I am so lucky to have been blessed to know her and learn from her.

I met Devon while at UCSB, thanks to our mutual friend Camilla. I worked with Camilla, who was in charge of a Conversation Partners program that matched UCSB students - Devon - with the international students for a little coffee talk. Devon always made friends from all over the world. Camilla and Devon became good friends, and Camilla brought me along to one of Devon's parties on DP. Oh, the good old days. But Devon and I were always two ships passing in the night. I was studying abroad while she was in Santa Barbara, I came back and she went to Spain. But when I returned from Europe the second time, it was time for Camilla to move back to Denmark. We met up for a goodbye party for Camilla, and from that point on our rivers finally came together.

At times we were both busy with school (her Master's and my credential) and work, but whenever we stole a moment to see each other, it was as if no time had passed at all. I was very alone in the OC/Long Beach area, and she was kind enough to introduce me to her friends. Sometimes I wonder if my mom, who passed away almost 10 years ago, sent me to her. Devon always knew what everyone needed, and I certainly needed her and a community of girlfriends.
Not only did she know what everyone needed, she knew exactly how to either gently put them in their place or soothe their souls. Admittedly, I have not always been the best person in the world. I had made several bad decisions (an internal meltdown), and she kindly let me know what an idiot I was. I had a short bout with the early stages of cancer, and looking back on my experience I cannot help but feel ridiculous. I was such a baby compared to how strong she has been. But she was there for me, encouraged me, helped me see the bigger picture. She always had such a positive perspective; her glass was always at least a little more than half-full, no matter what. Her perspective had always been that life was too short and too precious to take for granted and waste being depressed.

She amazes me. I have always been simultaneously in awe, inspired, proud and envious of Devon and her ambition. Her work at her school, the programs that she created, the work that she did in Sacramento, the relationships she developed with her students: she will always be my mentor. She inspired me to continue through the credential program and be a teacher myself. She encouraged me to go through with a summer Master's program back at UCSB. I owe so much of who I am today to her.

One day, sipping Noureddin's amazing mint tea, we talked deeply about our childhoods and what we wanted out of our lives. One thing that came up: we wanted our parents to be happy. She spoke of her mom's love of budget travel and laid back nesting attitude, and I spoke of my dad's similar frugality. It clicked: they would be a perfect match. In essence, I got to pick Devon to be the sister I always wanted. After a few canceled coffee dates, our parents finally connected. Diana even trusted my dad to fly her out on a date in a four-seat Cessna, with an oil leak across the windshield. And she came back for more! They married in November 2006. Devon always knew what everyone needed - her mom needed a rock of a husband, my dad needed a solid woman who wasn't a floozy, and we both needed them to be happy.

Devon, always beautifully put together, thoughtful and gregarious, knew how to throw a party, in spite of her disinterest in housekeeping. She was an amazing hostess. She admitted that she didn't like cooking, but could throw hors d'oeuvres together and present them on a beautiful platter without ever thinking twice. After our parents married (both of whom have no interest in traditional Thanksgivings and Christmases), we tried our best to put on good ones, down to golden chargers under the dinner plates. And she always looked stunning, with her beautiful legs and model hands. I asked her a while back how she always kept them so perfect. Her answer "I don't do anything; Noureddin does the housework." I chuckled last night holding her hand for the last time - they were still perfect without a professional manicure.

Devon always made everything so beautiful. She was instrumental in designing our parents' wedding: countless orders on Nordstrom.com to find the perfect gown for her mother and dresses for us, the flowers, hair and makeup. Two and a half months later (after waiting what seemed and eternity for my then-fiance to get his US visa and move from Michigan to California), I told Devon that we had three weeks to plan another wedding - my own. There we were again, on Nordstrom.com. I was so blessed to have her by my side, and she was so gracious and beautiful in spite of her incessant headaches. This was February 2007, one month before her diagnosis. And she insisted on being there and helping me plan for my August church wedding. She threw the bridal shower, beautiful invitations and all, but couldn't even be there. She stood by my side at the alter again, my chosen sister.

I was with her much of the time in the hospitals, amazed at her progress and ability to reorganize entire hospital wards. She would not have been happy last night with Kaiser! Diana and I chuckled that she would have bossed them around in her pleasant manner until they got it straight.

Yesterday at the hospital, she looked so angelic. She has taught us all so many lessons, and I will never forget her ambition, caring nature, grace, intelligence, poise and beauty. Every moment she inspires me to be a better friend, a better person; I hope that I can live up to her example.